The Way I Am
Posted on 10. Oct, 2009 by Ruda in Purpose
Photo by Stephen Brace
Lately I’m confronted with more and more people that act inconsistently with their goals. The ideas they express in conversation remain as just that, they never seem to implement these ideas in their life. Some of the time these people are not really committed to what they’re saying. Maybe they’re taking part because they’re trying to project a certain image of who they want to be viewed as. But I’m talking about the people who do believe in the ideas they express.
I have friends that constantly talk one way and act a different way. When we have conversations, they will say how they wish it were this way or that. They even know what they have to do to get there, but they just don’t act. I think it just comes down to being lazy or afraid of the process. Most people become too comfortable with the way they are to act on most of their ideas. The people who do end up changing drastically seem to be the ones who experience some sort of jarring event in their lives that takes away their complacence. I can understand how it’s easy to turn away from the work at hand by settling for the way things already are, but with that sort of thinking, any potential for learning and growing is eliminated.
It seems a waste that someone not follow through when they’ve already done the initial steps of thinking about what has to be done. Changing oneself is never going to be very easy or comfortable, but if we constantly wait for what’s easy, we will never end up getting anywhere. “That’s just the way I am,” this is one of the phrases I most dislike hearing. I think it’s incorrect to define yourself as your behaviors and attitudes at any one point in time. These things are ever-changing over the course of our lives. Just the fact that they have the potential for change points to the idea that they are not your definition. Your habits don’t decide who you are, you define what your habits will be.
If we can view our outer behavior as something that is dynamic and ever changing, then we make ourselves able to constantly change along with life, as we must. If we start to attach our being with our habits, then we weigh ourselves down and have to face lots of work in order to change anything. If we are dynamic and not defined by habits, then we will be indifferent to any change as it does not determine who we are. It will be simple to cast off one thing and add another. Our potential for change is determined by the way we define ourselves.
Adriane
Oct 13th, 2009
There are any number of reasons why people don’t carry through on ideas and/or goals. I can say that I am one of the offenders of such, though I am in a constant battle to persevere anyway.
A while back I took a creativity coaching course (to become my own best client… see http://www.themuseisin.com for info) and discovered that many creative types suffer from what I like to refer to as creative constipation (ugh.. I know.. not a pretty visual).
There are many possible reasons for it, which can range from self esteem issues to a plethora of various fears (of success… of failure… of change, etc., etc.). Oftentimes, though, it’s because the concept of the idea is worked out, but not so much the method to get there, which is where creativity coaching steps in to provide some, well, steps… small steps, preferably, using the creators’ innate intuition and past experience, bolstered by a plethora of tools, to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And it doesn’t hurt, either, to have a bodyguard to watch your back.
Shanmuganandh
Oct 16th, 2009
Hi,
I do dislike hearing the phrase “That’s just the way I am”.
Good that you share these thoughts of yours.
Looking forward to read more of your thoughts.
Shan
Ruda
Oct 17th, 2009
Adriane,
It’s interesting to hear your perspective of this problem as it is manifested in the creative sense. I’m glad you were able to find a way to overcome it, even if in baby steps. My passion is in making music and I know exactly what you mean in having to overcome that fear of failure.
Thanks for reading,
Ruda
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