Photo by Zabara Tango

Is it possible to live a life without passion?  Can one go through life without a single passion for anything?  It seems that I’m encountering more and more people that don’t seem to know what they really love to do in life.  Most of my peers are college seniors, and inevitably, the most asked question of the times is “what are you doing after graduation?”  Most will reply that they are seeking a job in a field which corresponds to their major.  Some of these people will actually like their major and are excited about working in it.  The majority however, are going with the flow and either say that they don’t really like what they will be doing, or they claim that they do with feigned excitement.

Then, out of this group of people who are not really interested in their chosen paths, there are a few who will know what they are truly passionate about.  Out of those, some will plan on pursuing it at some level, and the rest will be to fearful to take a chance on what they truly love to do.  I can understand these people, even the ones that don’t pursue out of fear have something to live for, they can still cultivate that interest in solitude.  But what I don’t understand are the rest of the people that are uninterested in their paths, and also have no idea what they really like to do.

We as human beings have been able to use our innate cleverness to rise above the daily struggle for food and survival.  At some level, I like to think that all this progress was made to give us the chance to attain a higher level of satisfaction.  Satisfaction that is gained through pursuing to do with our lives what makes us happy.  The group of people that are choosing uninteresting paths are doing so out of necessity for money, for stability, for survival.  If we do this, then we’re just propelling ourselves back to what we already broke away from.  If we sacrifice our passion for stability, we might as well go back to hunting and gathering in the forest, because we are giving up our uniquely human opportunity.

The people without passion perplex me.  What drives someone to survive when there is nothing to greatly stimulate them?  Most people who don’t think they are passionate about anything might be overlooking important aspects of their behavior.  If we took a little time to question ourselves, we might discover a hidden interest we never noticed before.  Maybe passions are sought out.  Maybe we have to try out everything we can in the hopes of finding something that truly captures us.  Isn’t it worth it to take a chance on being rewarded our our work internally at the cost of a stable but suppressing job?  Or at the very least, cultivating a passion on the side while holding a stable job.  But with no passion at all, I fail to see what reason there is to keep struggling.  I fail to see the great benefit in my humanity.

Photo by ASPatrick

One of Sigmund Freud’s most popular theories is that of the “id”, “ego”, and “superego”.  In this theory, he states that the id is our most basal state, it is driven by the pleasure principle.  This means that it seeks pleasure in the form of food and sex and avoids pain.  Later in his career, seeking to answer why humans so often engage in self-destructive behavior, he theorized the existence of a “death instinct.”  This was also part of the id.  Basically, he thought that eventually, the id becomes tired of the constant struggle for survival and pleasure and seeks to end its own existence.

This theory could explain why we are so drawn to escape from ourselves through movies, music, and books.  It could also explain the blatantly destructive behaviors such as aggressive behavior and war.  The theory is interesting because it offers a biological explanation for a lot of our negative behaviors.  It almost excuses our inability to change.  I say almost, because fortunately, we also possess the ego and the superego.  The job of the ego is to control the id.  So it follows that even if this death instinct exists and is some sort of biological trait of all human beings, then it is also in the biological capacity of all human beings to recognize it and choose to control it.

We can examine ourselves and see whether we take part in certain activities because they provide an escape or because we genuinely enjoy them in the present.  I’m sure almost everyone will experience at some point in their lives this death instinct because anyone who becomes aware of the cyclical struggle for survival will feel its pointlessness.  But the benefit of recognizing this is that once we are aware of the futility, instead of succumbing to our biological natures and seeking destruction, we can choose change the the struggle for survival.  We can choose to learn more about the world or who we are as human beings, or even if there is a purpose to us or anything else.  We may never find the answer to any of these questions, but in the process of contemplating them, we can live up to our own potential as humans.  We have the characteristics of animals, but we also have more that we can choose to utilize.

There is a whole universe of thought and ideas and possibilities that can never all be explored by one person, to choose to end the struggle would be to think that there is nothing else of interest left.  On the road of becoming more aware of ourselves, there is always a phase where it feels tiresome to keep on going once we recognize the struggle, I’ve seen it many times in people that I know.  This is the toughest part and one that has to be overcome in order to be able to think clearly and leave the struggle behind completely.  Our id will call for us to destroy ourselves, but we have to remember to use our ego and superego, our higher thought, to control it and put it back in its place.  It’s time for those that consider humans to be different or superior to animals to earn that distinction.

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One of the core beliefs that every person holds, whether they are aware of it or not, concerns a basic fact about human nature.  This belief will either be that human beings are self-interested and individualistic, or that we care about others by nature and not just ourselves.  Which side a person chooses will largely be determined by their experiences and upbringing.  The person who has been affected most by the selfishness of others or is selfish themselves, will choose to justify their behavior by claiming that humans are selfish by nature.  The person who has always been treated kindly and favorably by others will believe that human beings are good and caring of others by nature.

I am defining self-interested/selfish as prioritizing one’s own benefit above that of everyone else, even if it means breaking rules that they have set forth for themselves.  A caring person would be one that thinks of how their actions might negatively affect other people and follows their own rules even to their detriment.

I am more inclined to thing that more people are self-interested, but I don’t think this is a characteristic of humans as a species.  I think this is a learned behavior, something that can be changed, something that is not inherent in us.  There are people who do care about others genuinely, and there are people that don’t.  It is wrong to make an assumption about our race as a whole in order to justify one’s own behavior.  I am not claiming one view to be better than another, that’s a much deeper question of whether there are a set of morals to be followed.  What I’m more concerned about are the people that choose to represent themselves as something they are not.  Most people who are selfish will not want others to see it.  Some of them don’t see it themselves.  But if a person is unwilling to be honest about this belief with the people around them, or to themselves, then there is obviously some sort of conflict in their minds.

If we choose to hide something, then we are admitting to ourselves that it is an undesirable trait.  If we know that we are acting undesirably, then why keep doing it?  The true self-centered person will not choose to masquerade as a a caring member of society for the benefit of others.  So before we can even begin discussing whether it is right to be self-interested or caring of others, we have to first be honest about what we truly believe.  If people are trying to be perceived as caring and act selfishly, then they must choose which one they really agree with.  Most of the time, it is this way because they would like to have the benefit and convenience of being self-interested with the benefit of being viewed as caring.  To me this is an inconsistent behavior.  One of the first steps to becoming aware of who we are is to solve these inconsistencies in our ideals or beliefs about ourselves and the world.  An inconsistent person is one who will always be clueless about who they really are.

Photo by Stephen Brace

Lately I’m confronted with more and more people that act inconsistently with their goals.  The ideas they express in conversation remain as just that, they never seem to implement these ideas in their life.  Some of the time these people are not really committed to what they’re saying.  Maybe they’re taking part because they’re trying to project a certain image of who they want to be viewed as.  But I’m talking about the people who do believe in the ideas they express.

I have friends that constantly talk one way and act a different way.  When we have conversations, they will say how they wish it were this way or that.  They even know what they have to do to get there, but they just don’t act.  I think it just comes down to being lazy or afraid of the process.  Most people become too comfortable with the way they are to act on most of their ideas.  The people who do end up changing drastically seem to be the ones who experience some sort of jarring event in their lives that takes away their complacence.  I can understand how it’s easy to turn away from the work at hand by settling for the way things already are, but with that sort of thinking, any potential for learning and growing is eliminated.

It seems a waste that someone not follow through when they’ve already done the initial steps of thinking about what has to be done.  Changing oneself is never going to be very easy or comfortable, but if we constantly wait for what’s easy, we will never end up getting anywhere.  “That’s just the way I am,” this is one of the phrases I most dislike hearing.  I think it’s incorrect to define yourself as your behaviors and attitudes at any one point in time.  These things are ever-changing over the course of our lives.  Just the fact that they have the potential for change points to the idea that they are not your definition.  Your habits don’t decide who you are, you define what your habits will be.

If we can view our outer behavior as something that is dynamic and ever changing, then we make ourselves able to constantly change along with life, as we must.  If we start to attach our being with our habits, then we weigh ourselves down and have to face lots of work in order to change anything.  If we are dynamic and not defined by habits, then we will be indifferent to any change as it does not determine who we are.  It will be simple to cast off one thing and add another.  Our potential for change is determined by the way we define ourselves.

Photo by Peasap

In any given day we make hundreds of tiny little choices that inevitably alter our future experiences. Each and every moment is incredibly important because it has so much power over your future self. If we are always making the more comfortable and known choice, we limit our potential for growth and future opportunities.

It is natural for us to gravitate toward the known, but if you think about the times in your life that have led to the most drastic changes in yourself, they have probably been triggered by a choice or event that wasn’t very known or comfortable. Think of yourself as one point on a giant web. The point is your consciousness and the web is your mind/behaviors/past experiences. Each time you reach past the web to connect to a different point, you grow the size of your web. Just like this, every time you choose to step outside of your comfort zone, you open yourself up to new knowledge and growth.

These choices don’t necessarily have to be physical activities or things you do, they can even be the way you think or react to a situation. It can be the way you treat someone. Anything that is different from what’s normal for you. This can be an interesting exercise because it allows you to gain new perspectives on your own life as you perceive your world differently. I wrote previously about finding your authentic self, this method of choosing things outside of your web can be a creative way of trying to learn about yourself. There is more opportunity for truth in unfamiliar circumstances than in the ones you have experienced a thousand times before.

The new is always important to us as we are curious creatures. The times when we are experiencing it are the times when we are really human beings. Think about why people love traveling so much. I try to take advantage of every opportunity to leave my comfort zone. Try it for yourself and see how you like it. Even if it’s a negative experience, it will still be more significant than the monotony of the old. Experiences are the pieces to the puzzle that is life, the more pieces you have, the better you can understand the picture.