Photo by Antaean

Something that’s been on my mind a lot in the past couple of months is about the relationships that we are born with and have some sort of obligation to keep. The best example of this would be immediate family. Why do people have the idea that parents must love their children, and love them equally and unconditionally. Children in turn must love them back in the same way. Now this sort of relationship may actually exist with most families, but a lot of the time, the phrase “I love him/her” is accompanied by “she/he is my mom/dad/brother/sister.” Now the second part of the phrase makes me wonder whether this love is unconditional only because the person feels obligated to love them because of the blood relation.

I saw one of my grand-uncles this year for the first time in two years. He told me during our conversation that he loves me because we’re related. This was confusing to me because he barely knows me, I have numerous acquaintances that know me better than he does, and yet he claims that he loves me. He said it was because we’re family. So does he love me only because we’re family? He isn’t under as much pressure to love me since he is a distant relative and still he made this claim.

This seems like a question that is very hard to approach since most people will immediately say that their love is not something that exists out of obligation, especially when it comes to family members. But we do so many things out of obligations to our friends and have no problem admitting it, surely there are some similar instances in family relationships as well?

A lot of people seem to have trouble letting go of family members even in destructive situations because they feel bound by this obligation. The ability to examine all of our connections with other people objectively without the influence of what is expected of us would be very useful in protecting our own well-being. No person should do anything out of obligation at their own detriment. This cuts down on any sort of individual freedom that person has and it also opens the door to future regrets.