Love Me
Posted on 26. Sep, 2009 by Ruda in Emotions
In life, it seems that there are very few other things that could compare to the importance of “love.” I put this in quotes because I feel like most people who use this word haven’t really thought of what it really means to them. The idea they have is based on what they were told as children, what they saw in movies and TV, what they read in books. Maybe it’s just me, but I believe that we should all have our own understanding of the things we consider important and not be content with what has already been put in our heads.
The word “love” is almost dangerous to use now because of the numerous connotations that it has attached to it. This creates misunderstandings and hurt feelings, as demonstrated by enough relationships around us. The first question we have to ask is if there is such a thing as an objective “love” out there that should be the ideal. This of course is something you have to think out and decide for yourself.
Even before we start to create our own beliefs, if we examine what people call “love”, it is full of contradictions. We say love is selfless but we practice selfishness with our loved ones. We say love is forgiving but we harbor grudges. My favorite is “if you love someone, set them free,” but everyone wants to hold on and get angry when it’s taken away. Even the thing that most people think “love” is seems completely contradictory. It seems sad that we aren’t able to live up to our own expectations of what it is.
I’m not saying I have the answer about what it is or should be. I only think that it’s time to start questioning ourselves and our belief about what it is. If we are going to have this thing in the top priorities of our lives, it should at least be worth some reflection. Believe in something because you thought it, not because you were told it.
Alex
Oct 20th, 2009
Hey,
I have questioned what love is to me. Its such a hard thing when taking into account how I grew up and probably for others. People seem to talk about love being something apart from “not-loving” but all I can remember is dealing with love in relation to that. It doesn’t make much sense to me at this point for love to exist with not loving.
It doesn’t make sense, but I can’t say I have love without contradiction.
Sadly there have been periods in my life where I have felt some sort of “free” love, but it was so fragile it quickly turned into attachment, fear, this whole rather boring state. Maybe it wasn’t really free or maybe it was and I thought about it too much.
I only rarely ever feel some sort of free love when I am alone outside in the woods with nature and it is indeed fragile and rather random. But surely I question that because if I can’t have a relationship like that with humans… well I don’t know.
Hah sorry I replied so personally. I don’t care to hide my personal perspectives, but thats all I’ve got. Hopefully it at least gets some dialogue going.
It does seem to me that love is indeed fragile and sensitive. But as a human its important to control things. This is something I’ll have to ponder over.
Alex
Ruda
Oct 20th, 2009
Hi Alex,
I think with this subject, personal perspectives play a huge part. It’s funny that even when I have felt “free” love, it’s usually been when I am by myself, basically it was not directed toward people. I wonder if it’s something inherent in our relationships with people that changes the way we feel love for them.
I agree with you that loving cannot exist without not-loving. It seems that not-loving and loving create each other out of definition. The definition of everything lies in part in their absence I suppose.
Ruda
Alex
Oct 21st, 2009
Ruda,
Humans have such a ton to bear. I wonder how or why this happened. Reminds me of the Zhuangzi-Butterfly story. Zhuangzi dreamt he was a butterfly, not knowing he was zhuangzi, doing as he pleased then woke up. Wasn’t sure if he really was the butterfly dreaming he was zhuangzi or the other way around. And sadly Zhuangzi is basically forgotten in China. I use to live there as a teacher.
I do love butterflies, but even though humans seem to bear a lot in this world amazing things can be accomplished. Too bad there seems to be a lot of craziness going around.