Comments on: Live and Let Live

By: Ruda

Ruda — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 07:37:56 +0000

Thank you for your comment Julie,

I completely agree with you with respect to the bride and groom not caring if they truly loved each other.

You’re welcome to pop in with as many cents as you want any time, haha

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:57:09 +0000

Hi, Ruda. You have quite an engaging view of personal integrity, and I applaud you. I’ve read several of your posts and see that you are writing the tip of the iceberg. There’s far more reasoning that is bubbling just beneath the surface.

I’m popping in here with my two cents. Well, perhaps ten cents, because I’m always wordy!
- There is no right or wrong.
- It’s good to respect another’s wishes, especially if there’s no hardship to oneself.
- Change can only happen within each individual’s heart.
- Opportunity for change occurs every instant of every day, with every breath we take, with every heartbeat.
- We can start anew each moment of life.
- We all are responsible, not “the other.” To say otherwise is an abdication of the very nature of life.
- Love should be our primary focus in all the activities of life. Seeking it, feeling it, sharing it, offering it, being grateful for it. From this position, all tensions dissolve, more goodness grows.

And, if I may…? As for the wedding discussion, if a bride and groom feel entrenched in tradition, it’s a loving act for a guest to honor that tradition. If a bride and groom put more emphasis on the true nature of love, however, then a guest’s clothing won’t matter.

By: Feather

Feather — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 22:27:03 +0000

I think we are simply part of the fixing process, but we are not the ones who can fix it. people who grew up with traditions will always carry those traditions. Only new generation or newborns are able to start fresh.

By: Ruda

Ruda — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 19:02:05 +0000

The supposed disrespect only arises because you hold me to an expectation. You said that there is no reason to oppose it even if it might be wrong because it will be corrected through generations. But why wait generations to fix something that we can fix right now?

By: Feather

Feather — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 06:59:30 +0000

well, wedding is a ceremony, public event, therefore it’s not just personal. Formal attire is part of this ceremony and it shows respect to the bride and groom. traditions are still generally accepted by the public including my wife, parents, grandparents, parents in law..etc~ so even if I don’t care, they will still feel bad seeing one of my friends disrespects my wedding. I guess what I’m trying to say is that what is generally accepted is right, there is no reason to oppose it even if it might be wrong. If it is wrong, it will be corrected eventually through generations.

By: Ruda

Ruda — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 05:23:43 +0000

Thank you Feather. Part of my belief is that we should try to free ourselves from these traditions in society that you speak of. I don’t see why a man in a tie-dye shirt could cause such sadness on a wedding day that is meant to be about you and your partner’s union, not the dress code of your guests. Do you see how these traditions can cause you pain in situations like this?

By: Feather

Feather — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 04:58:07 +0000

Nice article and I totally agree with you, conceptually… but to me, egoism is often an act out of selfishness. Specially in today’s world, it’s hard to ignore the traditions and the society. E.g. if you were wearing a tie-dye shirt for my wedding because you felt like. Then your happiness is built upon my sadness since I care about the tradition of respect.

Well, I still believe that people will start to let go all the constrains, but it needs more time to accomplish.