Better You Than Me
Posted on 13. Oct, 2009 by Ruda in Relationships
Photo by hr.icio
One of the core beliefs that every person holds, whether they are aware of it or not, concerns a basic fact about human nature. This belief will either be that human beings are self-interested and individualistic, or that we care about others by nature and not just ourselves. Which side a person chooses will largely be determined by their experiences and upbringing. The person who has been affected most by the selfishness of others or is selfish themselves, will choose to justify their behavior by claiming that humans are selfish by nature. The person who has always been treated kindly and favorably by others will believe that human beings are good and caring of others by nature.
I am defining self-interested/selfish as prioritizing one’s own benefit above that of everyone else, even if it means breaking rules that they have set forth for themselves. A caring person would be one that thinks of how their actions might negatively affect other people and follows their own rules even to their detriment.
I am more inclined to thing that more people are self-interested, but I don’t think this is a characteristic of humans as a species. I think this is a learned behavior, something that can be changed, something that is not inherent in us. There are people who do care about others genuinely, and there are people that don’t. It is wrong to make an assumption about our race as a whole in order to justify one’s own behavior. I am not claiming one view to be better than another, that’s a much deeper question of whether there are a set of morals to be followed. What I’m more concerned about are the people that choose to represent themselves as something they are not. Most people who are selfish will not want others to see it. Some of them don’t see it themselves. But if a person is unwilling to be honest about this belief with the people around them, or to themselves, then there is obviously some sort of conflict in their minds.
If we choose to hide something, then we are admitting to ourselves that it is an undesirable trait. If we know that we are acting undesirably, then why keep doing it? The true self-centered person will not choose to masquerade as a a caring member of society for the benefit of others. So before we can even begin discussing whether it is right to be self-interested or caring of others, we have to first be honest about what we truly believe. If people are trying to be perceived as caring and act selfishly, then they must choose which one they really agree with. Most of the time, it is this way because they would like to have the benefit and convenience of being self-interested with the benefit of being viewed as caring. To me this is an inconsistent behavior. One of the first steps to becoming aware of who we are is to solve these inconsistencies in our ideals or beliefs about ourselves and the world. An inconsistent person is one who will always be clueless about who they really are.
Hello! I suppose you couldn't resist trying to catch a glimpse of the person writing all this nonsense. If you want to learn more about me, check out the "About Me" page. Self-explanatory I guess.
D .Sampath
Oct 25th, 2009
for every thought owned up is a thought disowned..
so there is a also strong belief inherent in the human mind that we are interdependent and that we are a part of a macrocosm.. it is these two inherent apparently contradicting realities whch cause the creative tension of living..my joint family and agaarian roots give me a realisation of a part of an immutable whole .. but experience with the current world and the reality of evolution makes me also anchor on the concept of self as an independent energy force.. how do we make a world view accommodating theses two..similar struggle physicts are having when they want to create a global theory incorporating the classical theories of relativity and the quantum theories of micros. enjoyed your conversation..